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Parents in Love ~ 5 Reasons for Handling Mistakes with Love

To keep your marriage brimming,

With love in the loving cup,

Whenever you’re wrong admit it;

Whenever you’re right shut up.

- Ogden Nash 

My husband, Jim, also a marriage and family counselor, advises “When you’re wrong, be humble and admit it. Avoid justifying your mistakes.”

5 Reasons to Handle Mistakes with Love:

Love overcomes defensiveness

Love admits mistakes and tells the truth. Some folks believe, ”I’m the boss. I have to be right.” Picture a little league baseball game. One parent is belittling his son for striking out. The coach, the team, and all the parents hear it.

On the way home, the parent apologizes and says, “I’m sorry. I’ll never do that again.” This apology is the first step toward overcoming defensiveness and, hopefully, the belittling behavior too. It helps both the child and the marriage partner to forgive.

 Love feels refreshed when mistakes are admitted

When mistakes are admitted the air is cleared. It moves your relationship forward. Imagine telling your partner, “I’m sorry I didn’t return your call. I was having coffee with my friend and forgot to call you back.” When admitting mistakes and apologizing are honest, they make room for forgiveness. That’s refreshing.

Love promotes openness when mistakes are admitted

Let’s say your partner wants his parents to come for dinner. He knows they don’t like you. Instead of suffering in silence, you speak up, “They can come if you support me when they put me down.” He apologizes and promises to speak up when they insult you. Both of you discuss how to do that. Now when the in-laws come, both of you are prepared. Your openness and willingness to discuss the problem ahead of time promoted openness.

Love avoids stubbornness and listens to reason

If your partner doesn’t want to buy your dream house, find out the reasons. Perhaps it’s more than you can afford. If you’re stubborn, you might insist on buying it. When one of you loses a job, you both risk losing the house.

Love listens to reason. Instead of being stubborn, you admit the house is too expensive. Now you’re both free to search for a great home that fits your budget.

Love increases co-operation when you  accept each other’s apologies

Accepting each other’s apologies increases co-operation and builds trust. Imagine having an argument about household chores. You might even call your partner “lazy, sloppy, or a couch potato.”

You leave  and walk around the block. When you’ve cooled down, you apologize. Your partner accepts and admits he’s been lazy and you accept his apology too.

Now you’re ready to create a chore plan. Not only did your apologies help but your co-operation grew too.

Conclusion ~ Handling Mistakes with Love:

As parents and lovers we all make mistakes. The trick is to be humble and admit them. If you do, you’ll be filling the loving cup. Your kids will be watching and learning from you. You’ll be building character and modeling it for your children. When it comes to handling mistakes, what could be better?

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